Counting minutes and waiting and planning and worrying and dreaming.
Five days 'til flying to California. Five days of organizing and getting things squared and not having time to spend with wonderful girl and working and shuffling things around from bag to bag so I have proper articles of clothing and other things needed for ten days of goofing off by the ocean. Started making lists of things as I think of them in order to forget as little as possible. Dealing with details of new apartment that will be sitting ready when I return, making sure things like electricity and some manner of sleeping arrangement are in place.
It's a stretch of inertia and powerlessness and desperation and heatwave and just-put-my-head-down-and-power-through-it-dammit that I know leads somewhere better, but is really frustrating in the meantime. Having just enough time to worry and overthink while not being able to set everything straight or participate in all the awesome things that're happening all around.
But it's only a few days. I keep reminding myself. And even in this, there's a few scattered seconds that remind me that it's all worth it. A quick quiet drink with the girl and stealing a moment away from everyone else. Ending up on a block I don't recognize and getting to explore another tiny piece of this crazy city. Even having a quick stretch at work when everything falls into place and I can get into a groove for a few minutes.
A few more of those, and I escape to the West Coast. And when I come back, a bunch of new adventures await.
-PAR
Labels: California, girl, inertia, lists, moments that go on forever, real estate issues, sitting in limbo, the pacific, waiting for the great leap forwards
